A Magnificent Day joining the Butts County Chamber of Commerce
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“Examine your own motivations against your highest value because they impact your perception, which then impact your behavior and results that follow.” ~ Stephen R Covey
There are very many wise stories that are explored in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
Above all Stephen R Covey teaches principles. Principle centered paradigm are dealing with the roots.
There was this one story Stephen Covey told about his daughter. She was very young at the time like between the ages of 4 through 6.
He came home after a long day of work. A birthday party for his young daughter was taking place.
The little girl was forced into a corner holding all of her toys which were the gifts that were given to her for birthday.
She was holding on to the toys for dear life and did not wanting to share them.
Stephen R Covey wanting to diffuse the situation took charge and at first asked his daughter to gently share her toys.
Second time still gently asking the birthday girl to share her toys with all her friends mixed in with a bribe for some gum if she shared the toys.
The daughter was not having it, she snapped at her father and even stated that she did not want the gum and was not going to share.
3rd time is the charm right.
This time Stephen R Covey snatches the toys away form his small daughter and gives them to the other children to play with.
It’s a parents right to discipline their children by any cost?
However, here is what I love about Stephen R Covey.
He gave his personal motive about his hast action in that experience with his daughter. Then he talks about the shift on how he could have applied the principle centered paradigm of knowing one’s motives to ensure a healthier action and result.
There was a level of embarrassment that he felt for the perception of what people would think of him for not being able to have his daughter share her toys.
He realized that he may have gotten his daughter to share but it was at the cost of force and deduction from the relationship that he really wanted to build with his daughter.
Stephen R Covey realized that he could have defused the situation by maybe drawing the attention away from his daughter by showing the other children something they would be interested in playing with instead of the toys his daughter was clinging to.
If his daughter had the opportunity to enjoy her toys for just a moment then maybe she would have been willing to share them with ease.
When he reflected on the principle centered paradigm of motivation it was the shift of his personal ego being placed to the side.
Which gave him a different perspective, as we could say a maturity for a better future response.
I think this kind of honesty with your self can be a little uncomfortable at first.
The maturity to examine, to go deep with in to figure out the true why allows for an opportunity to learn about ourselves.
We of course have the option to accept it or even change it.
It is amazing what you discover about yourself.
The other day I had a sobering conversation with my personal development coach based on the principle centered paradigm of my motives regarding my relationship with my loved ones.
Specifically one relationship that seemed to have had a drastic shift.
I was endeavoring to learn about this situation. It was important to me to gain more information to make the best steps towards bring harmony back to this relationship.
Through this process some painful things came out.
Past actions that I took could not be undone by a simple conversation at the time for resolution.
The inner motivations of my heart were not geared towards that person but rather geared towards a fear that I thought I was avoiding.
Yet, it still occurred because I was not aware of the deep rooted motivation.
The good thing about the situation is that I am able to change my behavior with the person.
I have to allow things to come from a different motivation a motivation that is not rooted in fear.
Rather the motivation of cherishing that person and when opportunities arise to be willing to be apart of things that that person desires; instead of just pushing who I am onto that person.
I can even think about my interactions with my niece and nephews.
My youngest nephew is very persistent.
This little guy is smart and of course with little people especially around 4 years of age want their way.
We were in a bookstore and he kept asking for like everything he saw.
I would tell him not right now.
This little guy, persistent in all of his efforts to receive what he wants asks one more time for something as I was checking out with the cashier.
I looked at my nephew and expressed once more that not right now.
That little man said “I am not talking to you, I am talking to him” and pointed at the cashier.
I had a slight moment of should I pop this little boy for being disrespectful.
Then I just had to laugh to myself and appreciate him for being so persistent. This persistence is something we are born with. It is interesting how it somehow fades as we get more life experience.
I know that through practicing the principals from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People because of the principle centered paradigm teachings allowed me to respond differently to my nephew than I may have done in the past.
The main thing that I desire to build with my niece and nephews are the allowing of who they are.
Each one of them brings me more joy then they will ever know. They really do make me pride of the people that they are.
Also of course my sister is doing a wonderful job raising them!
At the end of the day each of them know TeTe does not play and when I mean business.
It took me years to get to this place with my niece and nephews because I have examined my motives from different angles.
I have matured in my interaction with them.
These interactions with them have been worth the practice.
This is also why I know the other situation will be harmonious.
Now that I am more aware of what my motives were and have sobered up.
Going forward there are changes that will be made on my part on a heart level that will change my actions to be more in line with the new principle centered paradigm of my motives.
We always bear fruit but isn’t it beautiful that we can cultivate the bushes and garden we already have, or even plant new seeds for a different harvest.
Life is what we make it and I am highly thankful for the people who were willing to leave their valuable lessons and teach what they knew and know to provide the tools that we can use in order to grow. To be our Magnificent Selves!!
Thank you for your time!
Love and light + Air Hug!!
Songstress of Dreams